Creating “Home” in a New City

What’s the startup pack for creating a place called “home” in a new city?

• Creating a comforting place
• Searching nostalgia
• Looking for a food that smells like home

But how do you find these things in a place that is the hub for technology and people running from one place to another? That was my concern when I entered the City of Dreams. While keeping my baggage in the cab, a thought came into my head. But the fear of the “new city” kept me controlled. 

While zoning out into the array of songs, I missed most of Bangalore’s traffic. But as soon as I entered the campus, I was greeted with people dolled up for celebrations. I looked at them, then stared back at me and found I was too underdressed for this place. 

Alliance seemed like a massive land with new faces where I kept searching for acquaintances. After managing to get angry on the very first day, I ate some food and met the people who helped me create my comfort place. 

After the hectic settling-in, a new week started off, with classes that felt like a whole new world for me. Being taught everything that I wanted to learn from my undergrad was one of the best feelings. With assignments and class discussions, this feeling passed away a few times but regained when I thought about the ultimate goal. 

While my search for nostalgia was ending with the thought that I would not find someone who loves Delhi as much as I do, I found people who made me nostalgic. Whether it be the songs or the “vibe” we created, it felt like a part of my life at home came back again. My search for home-cooked food has been made better with the smiles at Nescafe. Although there have been ups and downs in this journey, I come back every day to this place called Ghar. 

Every Beginning is Not a New One

 Beginnings are NOTHING NEW! 

You get into the new year with a spirit to start something new, but what happened to the beginning you started the previous year or the year before that? Beginnings are not always about a "big deal", it's about taking care of the small things and giving your 100% in improving them. This means, putting extra effort and brains into something you started. For example, if you made a goal of getting healthier, you could put in some extra effort to work on it by adding a target. 

Let's try to understand the different perspectives of beginning from the start: 

What are beginnings? 

Beginnings as vocalised in local languages are the start or onset of a new chapter. But if we think broadly, beginnings are about taking the extra effort to work an extra mile for something you might have started earlier too. Its meaning is not just restricted to the evolution of start, but it also transcends to giving yourself a push after a long break. 

For example, let's take spirituality. Most of our parents have told us the meaning and importance of spirituality in our childhood, provided only 60% of us actually retain and follow it through our lives. But when you grow old and experienced, there is a point when you regain that belief and fall back to it. This might come in twenty or thirty years or might just be there in your head for a long. Would you consider this a beginning? 

For me yes! Anything big or important that I am learning again for the second, third, or even the millionth time is a beginning for me. Hence, instead of making a fresh list of resolutions, I decided to pick up things that I had left incomplete and work on them first. And trust me, acting on things is far better than creating new things and working on them. 

@2023 Recap

2023 like any other year, was quite electrifying. I learned, grew, and most importantly picked myself back up. From the slightest of things to shifting to a new city, 2023 was not short of a storm for me. I definitely made new acquaintances, left a few people behind, and held onto a few who helped me grow. Whether it be taking an extra turn, or just working on the same thing, I learned many new things and invested in myself. (That's the best investment I could make)

More than anything, 2023 opened many new horizons for me and gave me the beginnings to work on for the next season of life. I understood that making a big deal out of things is not something I want to do and hence, it's better to just work on something existing and excel in that first. 

The new perspectives and new changes helped me see life from a vision I would not have explored living in my small zone. Hence some of my key learnings this year were: 

1. Life is simple. Live it simple. 
2. Invest in what makes you satisfied and not happy. 
3. Give yourself a chance to grow before judging. 
4. Keep learning no matter what!
5. People can be good too. 
6. Be present! 

What were your key learnings? Share with me in the comments.

And if you liked this blog don't forget to follow and ping me at poorvik35@gmail.com 

Until the next blog, make sure to mark your beginning and start acting on it! 

New beginnings?

Every new start comes with an incomplete ending...

We all love new beginnings, but how many of us put an end to the endings?

Life lately has been about responsibilities, running away from those responsibilities, and the desire to fulfill those responsibilities. Going out, following a schedule in the loop, getting back home, and still getting no time to be back home with yourself. 

Things change drastically when you grow up, but no one ever told you they would change so fast. How five months can turn into a bundle of disgust and how two days can be the most longing period for you. But why does every happy period come to an end and a period of "loneliness" is like a 2-hour Salman Khan movie.

What are incomplete endings?

Poorvi's urban dictionary describes incomplete endings as lies and commitments which have to come out of the "everything is good" shell and forcefully come to an end. 

It is so silly to call something incomplete and an ending. Endings are meant to collide and turn into a "fruitful product". But what about the forceful endings you do, which are still an incomplete pathway for you, but you have to do it for the sake of doing it.

I did not understand the concept of incomplete endings, before kick-starting my new year. The moment I had to plan out my year (which seems extremely foolish to plan your future), I knew it was time to bid goodbyes to things and to people who are just too incomplete in my life. Yes it seems difficult, yes you will cry, and yes you will regret it, but these endings are important to what we call, "MOVING ON" in life. 

So are these endings important? 

Certainly yes! You need to get yourself out of the thought that things will be better if you really want to do something for yourself. When you see those, "Disappear from social media and build your lives" posts, have faith in them. 

Sometimes all you have to do is get out of certain places to get into a better place for yourself. This will be tough at first but after months or years, you will feel good, and trust me YOU WILL. 

This new year instead of making new promises and new commitments make sure you are over with the incompleteness you have. And that will truly be your NEW YEAR. 

I wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR ❤. 

Make a comment and like the post if you enjoyed this lil motivation <3

And will see you all again, probably before the next year!

Dilli Meri Jaan?

The capital of India, aka, Dillwalo ki Dilli or my birthplace is not just a U.T. but an emotion. From the street vendors to the lavish late-night parties, Delhi manages to fit the emotions and feeling of every person. I have experienced Delhi from the eyes of a party animal, from a kid seeking escape, and from a teen looking for peace. 

From different eyes to the nakabs, you can observe every emotion through the streets of Delhi. From Dear Donna to Jama Masjid, every festival is celebrated in the most prevalent way in Delhi. Whether it be the momos in East Delhi, the Chaap in West Delhi, the Chai from North, or the Shopping Sprees from South, this place can manage to cover every diversity. But sometimes the sawal, that whether I love Delhi or to gets stuck in my mind. 

Why Not Delhi?

Well, this might be an offensive question, but we all at some point think of leaving Delhi and shifting to some other state or country. Delhi is one of the most unsafe places for people in India. The traffic fights, rape, theft, poor air index makes Delhi unsafe. We hear cases of protests, huger, no light, water, kidnapping, murders every day. 

Being a girl, it becomes too unsafe for me to sometimes step out of my house without the thought of me being kidnapped by anyone. Thus, there is a natural tendency for parents to stop you from going out at night. Delhi might look like one of the most happening places in Delhi, but a closer look gives you why this should not be the place to stay. But this makes me think of a possible answer to the question, of why I still live in Delhi, why I still want to explore every part of Delhi?

Why Delhi is Still My Jaan?

The answer to this is simply because I love what this place gives me. From the metros to the street food, Delhi has every reason to hold my heart. Delhi has a place to offer me when I am sad, and a place to let be in my thoughts when I want peace. Delhi can be daunting to some people, but every time I step out of my house, I go with the thought of meeting a new person and interacting with their heart. The rich heritage and the sunsets make my heart melt. 

My mom still tells me about the time when I was so devastated about not seeing a Santa Claus, and they took me to every possible place just to make me see a Santa. In the end, the desire to see a Santa was fulfilled at a petrol station. This is why I love Delhi. The small moments and memories this place offers me cannot be matched to anything.

In cabs, autos, or metros you get to meet the most random people who have the best stories to share with you. The rickshaw bhaiyas are too helpful and can make your ay ten times better with the  90s music remix. The metros are not just a place of chaos but also a place with different types of people. You could spot an old couple helping each other get a metro, a slump trying to catch the metro, or a boy reading book. Every interaction I have done with a stranger has been so pleasing that it makes my heart melt.

From  Ambience mall to Sarojini Nagar very Gaali in Delhi has a different story to offer you! Can't decide if I love or hate Delhi, but I am just too content to be at a place that can understand my every emotion.

For more such stories, subscribe to this blog!

Thank you for reading, write to me at @poorvik35@gmail.com

With love Dilliwali <3

Are Expectations Always Predictable?

 Prediction leads to expectations

Humans the being that can never stop expecting or predicting. Predictions of what will happen next often lead to tieing up expectations. Whether you believe it or not, we humans in some way or the other hold expectations even from the tiniest of things. It may be for a relationship to grow, a deal to get finalized, or even a dinner date.

Expectations

In my years of growing up, I have always felt the need to expect things from others. Whether it be with my parents taking me out or me getting maximum marks in school. But all those things made me more weak and vulnerable. The thought of my expectations not getting fulfilled was horrifying enough. And if those "Expectations" were not fulfilled I would make myself sad.

(By making myself sad, I mean literally giving me reasons to be sad over mere expectations that were not even going to be completed)

The idea of the expectations failing has made me horrified to a level that I fear expecting things from others. The expectations often lead to lack of acceptance. Let's take an example; I expected that a friend to always stay by my side. But the minute I knew the friend was going to leave me, I couldn't accept that fact. 

For me, expectations have also led to me, not respecting the people with love and care who are truly making me be at my best. 

Predictions

Following up, predictions are the judgments of how a scenario will occur. We often predict things in a way that we don't even realize what we are actually doing. Predicting how a scene or the flow of life raises the bar of expecting from that particular scene. And as the cycle of expectations works, failure leads to ignorance and denial.

Denying facts after they have failed makes it difficult for you to be at a place where you want to be happy and satisfied. For example; Recently, I predicted how the next few months of my life would be, but the tiniest reality check made me go the path of denial and anxiousness.

Is it Always Easier to Predict?

Yes, it is easier to predict. But, what we fail to understand is that the prediction can go different paths. A wrong path can make you sad, depressed, anxious, and shocked. 

"Life Is Not Predictable"

We all have heard this. But, how many of us truly believe in it? We often build a dam from predictions

to expectations and the mere pressure of reality gets it all broken. It is necessary that we always keep in mind, the importance of not expecting things and realize how important it is to live in the present and not in some fantasy world. 

At last, I would like to say that it is easier to stay happy by expecting and predicting but it is important to live in the reality.

Thank you, for reading an actual brain dump <3

Share your experience with predictions and expectations in the comment section below.

Also, write to me at poorvik35@gmail.com :D

Feeling MIA

So, I have been contemplating writing a blog since two weeks now. Every time I think of writing something there is a huge wave that swirls around telling me how I just want to sleep and do nothing. 

But, after all this time of pushing myself I thought if I should write a blog on how I am feeling these days. The feeling where I just feel like I will miss everything. The feeling of being busy but still feeling idle. I feel most of us go through this stage, when we just feel like we are overwhelmed with so much that we start feeling we are missing on so much things.

For me, these thoughts often lead be being envious of others who are doing something. This is one of the main reason why I feel being at a back step. MIA that is missing in action, basically means the feeling of being out of something that you wanted to do. This might lead you to be envious, disheartened or sad that you are not in a particular situation.

Let's take a small example, your friends plan an outing but due to any reason you could not be a part of it. You really wanted to go there(like go eat at Jama Masjid :(), but because of certain unavoidable circumstances you couldn't. Now, when the pictures of the day comes out the feeling of MIA starts hitting you hard.

(Taking this example since we have all been through this)

What Next?

What next after the feeling of MIA starts hitting you? You start feeling sad and disappointed. You start overthinking building up a billion thoughts in your mind and then a point comes where you feel like everything you have been doing is wrong. You were supposed to be at some place but you weren't there. This same feeling makes you feel anxious and in turn all your tasks gets delayed.

And you all know, how anxiety is a whole new world to put yourself into. Instead of getting yourself out of this feeling there is a whole new world that starts pulling you down. As a result, you keep delaying tasks, start feeling grumpy and all your effort tends to loose. What will this put you into? Yes, you guessed it right. You will start feeling MIA again and the cycle will repeat.

All this, will keep on repeating till you pull yourself out of this menace and start working on yourself. But trust me I know how bad it feels, when you just want to lay in bed but the restlessness doesn't let you do anything. Being an extrovert this is something hard to get yourself out of, when you rather want to be at every single place.

Ways to get yourself out of this feeling

Here's a list of all the best things I did in order to get myself out of this feeling:

• ACCEPT the fact that you CANNOT be at every place. 
• Journal. Can't stress more on how journaling helps you dump all thoughts.
• Meditate
• Get yourself engaged into some art.
• APPRECIATE where you are and what you are doing.
• Live in the moment(or try to :))
• Stay away from social media, it will only make you more anxious.
• Read a book/watch a movie. 

May this help you find peace <3

Thankyou, for reading my blog :)

NOTE: I am extremely sorry if my blog triggered you but hey, we can talk about this. So, write to me @poorvik35@gmail.com

Sending love and peace :D

Are happy endings necessary?

Recently while watching a number of series(basically what I do all day), I just realized how major part the end of a series contributes to my mood. I am someone who connects to the whole mood of the series and relates to a level that I feel like I am doing the series.

Yesterday, I completed The Bold Type, and just the thought of the three independent bold characters was soo interesting that I binge watched it(when my bro recharged his account). The characters are designed in a way that you will relate deeply to them especially if you are a girl. And what I related to the most is the magazine and  how gracefully the characters pulled their jobs.

The end of the fourth season left me with this thought(no spoilers), whether I do always look forward to happy endings. This might possibly be the strategy and plot but in general, I always look forward to the happy endings in reel and real life. This is not generally a place where I write about shows but this is something that struck with me and I think would strike most of us, "Are happy endings really happy?"

Are happy endings really happy?

Taking the example from the show, the ending of the season might be happy and satisfied for others but personally I look forward to everyone being happy and in a place where they are satisfied with what they are doing. This is something that has always been daunting for me in personal life too. I look forward to having no endings and even if they occur I want them to be happy. 

The fact that I fail to accept the reality and, satisfaction the characters will get in the further future pushes me into a zone where I am constantly contemplating the near future without looking what better is going to come in the next half. And the fact that others respect the ending makes it even harder for me to accept the truth.

Happy endings might look exciting but the reality is that, the Bollywood movies have wrapped us in a bubble of happy endings with families reuniting and the lovers realizing they are meant to be together and so we believe that this will happen in our lives too. And when this doesn't happen we fail to accept the truth and start living in a non-existent cipher world with no truth and courage.

The happy ending bubble

This happy ending bubble has impacted me since really long. I generally don't accept the fact that things can go wrong too and the end is necessary for me to move forward. The not so graceful endings often leave me anxious and so I get into the "DND Zone", which is totally fine btw but when the comprehension that things will remain like this hits it gets weird, really weird...

This is the main reason why I always emphasize on keeping everything closer and eventually that will hurt you. The more you hold on something the more it hurts and the worse the ending gets. It took me a lot of time(still is hard)  to get acquainted with the fact that some endings are meant to be hard and they need to end for a better future because you generally don't look at the far future you will think of what will happen the next minute and so it gets harder. 

And so the answer to my question is, NO HAPPY ENDINGS ARE NOT NECCESSARY!

KYUNKI AASMAN ZARURI HAI!

It is totally fine if you are sad by what happened right now. But trust me what will happen next is better than having a happy ending where you are not happy. In the arena where breakups take place on Insta stories it is okay if you cry alone in the bathroom, look at your after cry face and realize how rash yet correct the ending is.

What next to do?

After giving you the relatable content let me share a few things that help me when the endings are not what I expect:

• Take a deep breath and relax
• Accept the fact that this HAS HAPPENED(Ik it is easy to say but you can try)
• Write everything down
• Talk to someone (friends, journal, strangers)
• Write, dance, paint, sing, cook, read, listen to songs, watch action movies
• Stay away from phones. (Social Media is not real)
• Take yourself out and observe people
• Spend time with your family(Yes, that helps)
• Stay away from toxic people(most importantly)
• Fake it till you make it (Pretend and pull yourself out)
• Follow me and talk to me @poorvik35@gmail.com

I hope this helps you in some way, and in case I triggered you or said anything wrong I am really sorry <3

Share your opinions about the show, your life and embarrassments with us in the comment section. And also tell me what helps you in these situations :)

Thankyou for reading :)